Living Life Like CRAZY!


One day I was looking for an image of an open heart for a blog I was writing. I wasn’t expecting a bunch of photos of open heart surgery. I had chose not to do research on it before surgery or after because I didn’t need to know. Needless to say I was taken aback.

I felt sad for my heart and what it’s been though. I could see how traumatizing and intrusive the surgery was and it explained the pain I am still having. I decided to cut myself some slack and let go of the impatience I had been feeling. I have so much I want to do and can only accomplish a small part of it each day. I stay present with that for the most part and sometimes I don’t.

My heart and spirit are so strong, that’s why I am still here. I have had a few exit points the last two years that I could have taken.

I love my earth experience, it’s beauty and it’s messiness and want to stay.

This journey brought me to the place where I am grateful to be alive and don’t want to waste a minute of it.

I am committed to:
Living my authenticity
Living my wildness
Living like crazy
Living out loud
Living in love

I can’t worry about what people think about me. Life is to short and it can change in an instant for any of us.

I am committed to:
Experiencing joy,
Being creative in everything I do
Being in love
Not holding back
Following the juicy flow of my life
Listening to and following my heart
Singing my soul’s song
And sharing life with like minded people who hold me in the highest regard.A8C71F44-7C67-4502-B2BA-5BE3BD04B7AD-1827-000003E21A0BBFC7


Fifth Chamber of the Heart


Title: 5th Chamber of the heart.

About 12 hours before I had the first heart attack, on the Spring Equinox of 2016, I had a dream. In the dream, other worldly beings put a star tetrahedron in my heart and a vesica Pisces in my womb. I thought it had something to do with the Equinox. That was how this 18 month heart exploration and transformation began. This painting is the energetic depiction of that journey and where I am now.

Sacred geometry actives this whole process. That is why this is the most profound personal painting I have ever done.

Follow up image…the next step


Spiritual Bypass

Spiritual bypass is prevalent in the New Age Movement and it does a disservice to personal growth, transformation and health. Have you ever been in the midst of some deep feelings and emotions only to hear, “You need to uplevel that feeling” or “time to change that story” or “You are going to create more of that if you keep feeling that way” or any version of that which is asking you to stop feeling that way? That is spiritual bypass.

When we bypass our feelings, where do they go? Somewhere in our body, where they can chrystalize into disease, and eminate from our body magnetizing more of the same. It’s unexpressed feelings that create more experiences like that. Heart attacks can be created by unexpressed feelings so can cancer and other diseases.

Feelings have a purpose and they are neutral, not positive or negative. They give us important information. Anger for example isn’t a negative emotion it is giving you information about a situation you are in. Information that can help you make a decision.

When you are with someone who is experiencing strong emotions (that probably make you uncomfortable) the last thing they want is advice about making them go away. In other words telling them they really shouldn’t feel that way. They just want to be heard and witnessed. They will move through them naturally if allowed to express them.


Do We Have Twin Flames?


In theory, the meaning of twin flame is that person who is your other half. It is said that when our Soul formed it was split into two halves and we spend each incarnation trying to find our other half.

What if the truth was that your twin flame is really you expressing yourself in another body. When you find this person they are the best match for evolving to a higher level. You are mirrors or reflections of each other.

The self improvement movement has done a disservice to many of us because it has left us feeling flawed rather than whole and complete. We have learned that we must change our flaws in order to be loved. We go one a journey that leads away from our trueselves no to our trueselves.

The truth is we came in to this life whole and complete with unique gifts to share and even our so called “flaws” serve a purpose! Instead of self improvement we should be taught the art of fierce self love and and radical self acceptance.  Unfortunately while we are focusing on self improvement those beautiful gifts that we are here to share sit on the back burner waiting for us to be perfect and we can’t create the life we desire.

The other reason to focus on self love and self acceptance is we can’t attract our twin flame if we don’t accept ourselves. That is why so many people in the new age movement who are longing for a twin flame reunion are still single. They think they need to “work” on themselves!! We need to be self aware. We need to be clear of where we begin and where we end so we don’t end up projecting on the other person and so that we stay out of codependency.

If you have a longing and a knowing that you have a twin flame then he or she is out there. We don’t incarnate with longing that would be fulfilled, they are part of what moves you forward in this evolution.

The only work we must do is love and accept ourselves, be self aware  so we navigate the world from authenticity. That is the magnet that will bring not only your twin flame to you but everything else you desire.


The Importance of Incubating an Idea


Sometimes it is crazy being a creative and visionary who thinks outside the box. If you are anything like me you understand because our minds are always popping with ideas.  When an amazing creative idea pops into my mind I get so excited that I want to share it with someone immediately.

I have to stop myself because I have learned the art and importance of incubating an idea.

Nature, a great role model of incubating, is teaming with examples. The egg, the seed the cocoon and the womb are all examples of incubators.

To incubate an idea means, to provide a protective environment where an idea can develop and mature. I see incubating as one step of the four stages of creativity, which are:

1: The Seed Idea Stage: That is the idea that seems to drop in from no where. It’s like the embryo, the caterpillar or seed in nature. It’s fragile and needs protection.

2: The Incubating Stage: This is where we provide protection from outside influence so our unique idea can grow and mature naturally. The idea is not ready for the light and needs the darkness in order to percolate.

3:The Building Energy Stage:  This is where the idea takes shape, and often transforms into something more powerful. Sharing our idea too early dilutes it and reduces its energy. Others might pooh pooh it, or try to distract you or claim it as their own if you share too soon.

4: The Release Stage: The idea has come to life and is ready to be shared with others. Did you know that if a butterfly is removed from the cocoon too early it either dies or is never able to fly. We want our creations to take wing and fly.  


All four stages are important to the successful launch of a creative idea.  There is not any set time and you will know when it is ready if you pay attention to your process.

I have this little journal to incubate my ideas.


Next time you get a creative inspiration step back before you share it and remember it needs to incubate.




What is authenticity anyway?

Authenticity requires a genuine sharing of our inner world regardless of the consequences. When we abort authentic communication to avoid conflict, judgment, anger or loss the disservice is to ourselves. Why do we do that? Because authenticity is not popular or rewarded in our culture, though it is becoming more and more acceptable.

I have been leaning into my authentic self more and more for a number of years. After the heart attacks it has become even more important. My hearts health function depends on me being real. When I am not, my heart constricts, just like yours does and that over time is not good for your heart, on any level. I have lost several friends this past year for being more real, because it required them to do the same. You will find that happening as well, and that is what stops people from being real.

Authenticity requires vulnerability and letting go of censoring yourself to look good. We have to let go of social programming that doesn’t support authenticity, such as, “being nice”, “avoiding conflict “, and “fitting in”.

At first, being yourself feels awkward( how sad is that?). As you let go of pretending to be someone other than you, it is freeing.

How did being yourself become something that took courage? I don’t know, do you? It should be an act of courage to be real!

You are on earth to be you!! It is the key to awakening your full intelligence, full expression and gifts. We each have gifts, talents, expressions, experiences and wisdom unique to us. Something no one else can offer. No one! The world needs that now more than ever.

If people don’t like your authenticity and true being, they are not you people!!! That’s okay.

The Cosmic Womb


Heart healing painting #12

I did it! It took me four times more time than normal but I finished it!

There is a lot going on in this painting and because it is visionary I don’t always know right away what it is saying.

This is what I know so far…

This was inspired by the idea that the heart is the first organ to form in the early stages of the fetus. So this heart is in the womb with an umbilical cord connected to the cosmic womb of the Divine Feminine. I feel that the heart continues to have a direct connection with the Divine and receives information all of the time from Source if we listen and pay attention.

PS. I painted this without being able to see very well.


Responsibility. Isn’t what it’s cracked up to be.

I learned at a very young age the importance of being responsible for myself. ( 4 years old) I took it seriously! Over the years it became a highly developed skill. I was a single parent for 14 years. You become very responsible on that journey. You have to be responsible, brave and courage because little people are depending on you. I got to the point I could do anything! I could brave my way through any situation even if I was afraid, sick or had to do something I didn’t want to do. It becomes who you are and who others think you are. A double edged sword because everyone knows you can take care of yourself.

So a few weeks ago when I posted that I needed help and company because I wanted to break that pattern it was an act of bravery for that part of me that is responsible and can do anything. I posted even though it made me uncomfortable.

I had no idea how people would respond because I had never asked to find out. What a surprise! I have been showered with love, pampered, had healing sessions, several people have brought me groceries, one beautiful friend made a payment on my mortgage, one of my neighbors is shoveling my snow, several friends brought me lunch or dinner and shared it with me, I have had have visitors and got to go to the opening of my daughter’s opening for her photography show.

On another level, I have been blown away, not only because of the response but also by my ability to surrender my responsibility and open to receive, without feeling anything but gratitude.

My heart continues to teach me new ways of being, new ways to let go of control and resistance and be okay in every present moment. The last 21 months have been the hardest months of my life and the most transformational. I will never be the same and I am grateful!

Thank you to everyone who has been with me in friendship, both here on Facebook and present in my life bearing gifts for me. I love all of you. ❤️FC4152DD-57DD-4121-A2C4-A60F36221EA8-1867-0000039CC553E166

A year of Joy!


I don’t make resolutions, set intentions or goals for the New Year. I pick a word that I want to align with. 2017 word/words were “Let go of resistance ” and man did I have a lot of opportunities to do that. I am happy to say I have been able to embrace non-resistance this year.

The word I have picked for 2018 is Joy.

I want to learn about what joy is, discover how in shows up in my life, and integrate it in me.

The dictionary definition of joy is a feeling of great pleasure and happiness, delight, triumph and glee. The emotion evoked by well-being. That is one state of joy, as a human emotion.

A higher spiritual level of joy is acceptance of what is occurring in the present moment and allowing it with gratitude no matter what the experience. Joy is a state of mind and an orientation of the heart. It is a settled state of contentment, confidence, hope and trust. Joy is deep within and doesn’t leave quickly like happiness might.

One form isn’t better than the other, they just occur at different levels in us.

How do we know joy?

Joy can only be felt if you stay in the present. It isn’t the same as happiness, which some people think. It’s a peaceful acceptance of what is occurring in the present moment. It’s allowing with gratitude for the experience. That’s joy. It isn’t a simple state to maintain but it’s possible to. The truth is you only have the present moment. Thinking about the past or worrying about the future bypass the parent moment and keep you from joy. In joy you choose to be okay in the moment no matter what is going on.


How do you set the tone for your new year? Do you sent intentions, make resolutions, create a vision board?