The Heart as Chrysalis

Watercolor painting by Katelyn Mariah Oct 2017


Heart Attacks

are the Great Excavator

if you allow them to work their magic.

They will take you on a transformational and metamorphosis like no other.

They will shake you to your core, strip you down, crack you open, throw you down, turn you into goo and send you back into the world like a new butterfly.

It’s a hell of a process!

you will look like you don’t know what you are doing,

people will think you are unevoled because you have raw emotions,

You will be judged and tossed aside and want you to “just get over it”, clearing the way for your real tribe to emerge.

It will be raw and messy, you will wish you were dead, want to give up, try to run away. If you do you will miss your greatest opportunity.

It takes deep courage and radical self care to take the journey.




Launching a New Book

I am a treeStrong limbed and deeply rootedMy fruit is bittersweetI am your mother (2)

I am really excited to be publishing my fourth book!!

Here is a little background…

My story, the short version

One would think that someone who had 3 heart attacks over 10 months must be unhealthy.  That wasn’t true of me. I was healthy, ate healthy food and had worked on personal development for years. I had no warning when I had the first heart attack on March 20, 2016, which was caused by a fire in my dryer.  That fire turned into a blessing because that uncovered the issue that was happening in my arteries. I had the second heart attack in Austria and was hospitalized for a week in a hospital wear 95% of the people didn’t speak English. That by itself taught me a lot. The third heart attack happened January 2017.  All three of them were the result of elevated Lipoprotein (a) and I tell these transformational stories and how I healed my heart in Resilient Heart along with techniques for you can use to strengthen, enhance your health and open your heart.

The importance of this mission wasn’t lost on me and through my own transformation and healing I found pearls that will help you!  That is the kind of deep sea diving I like! It made this difficult journey worth it for me.

I began writing first in my journal, next in my blog and then I put it all together into a book.  There were times during that period where I didn’t have any energy but I could lay in bed and research and I could write in my journal.  I knew from the beginning that this was an important healing journey, I didn’t realize how BIG.

I am on a mission to end heart disease! I want to be part of the solution.  Did you know that 80% of all heart disease is preventable? Our friends and family are dying from it and they don’t have too.  That is why I want this book to become a reality and get out into the world.  I discovered things in my research that doctors weren’t telling patients.  Things they need to know.

For example: 1 in 5 people have elevated Lipoprotien (a) yet they don’t test for it in the US or treat it.  I have to find alternative ways to heal in order to save my life.  I share that in my book.

I have started an Indigogo campaign to help with publishing.  You can be a part of the solution to by joining me in making a contribution to this project. I have some awesome perks that you can purchase and the funds go toward the campaign.  Let’s start saving some hearts.

View the campaign here

Book Cover:



Doctor on My Wrist

170739“The Inner Physician is active and engaged in every moment directing traffic within your body, making sure you body is working to the best of its ability withing its given environment.  It takes care of the body functions, with or without our help or the help of a medical professional.  When we work consciously with it rather than unconsciously against it, miracles happen.  We will know when it is time to work in conjunction with our doctor to heal our conditions and we will know when we should us alternative methods…Tapping into this energy we discover lost parts of ourselves and access higher wisdom.

When the Inner Physician is engaged, a union occurs between the soul, heart, mind and Creator, so that they can work together to maintain homeostasis.  In partnership with the Inner Physician the power to return to wellness is strengthened. The more at ease we are at the idea the greater our chances for true health to occur.  As we see and experience the power and potential that resides within the body, many of the fears we have carried regarding our health, fade away.  We see that we can have an active role in reaching health and wellness and we are empowered to take the steps. When you realize that the Inner Physician is working for you at all times, you will know that you are never alone in this pursuit for health and well-being. The key to self-healing is learning to trust this intuitive part of you.”

Empowered Health and Wellness: Awakening Your Inner Physician by Katelyn Mariah

Another term for the Inner Physician is Somatic Intelligence.  Somatic Intelligence is an integrated intelligence of the body, mind, emotions and spirit.  Somatic Intelligence is concerned with developing your capacities for:

  • Centered presence
  • Resilience
  • Handling pressure under stress
  • Awareness and mindfulness
  • Working with energy
  • Wellbeing
  • Tapping into the body-mind intelligence/intuition

Somatic intelligence represents an intersection between the practical and profound.  It is an invitation into a deeper alignment with our innate intelligence/Inner Physician.  This intelligence brings about a self-sustainable new order of functions from these three fundamental characteristics: It is self-sensing, self-organizing and self-renewing

Somatic Intelligence can be learned by reading about it but the deeper learning and connection comes from experiencing it. I learned it from within my own body and consciousness.  The willingness to pay deep attention to the inner wisdom and movement of your body is a fully sufficient teacher to move you into a state of utter wholeness and aliveness.   But we are not taught how to do that.

Everyone needs to learn to tap into this innate intelligence.  This is where our truth is found.  The harmony created between our partnership with the Inner Physician/somatic intelligence is what creates miracles. The miracles I have experienced recently and int the past have happened when I have been in co-creation with the Inner Physician.

Do you know how to tap into your Inner Physician?

This is why I am so EXCITED about the HELO: Health and Lifestyle Oracle, because it is a wearable device that helps us get in touch with this intelligence.  It helps us create coherence by monitoring our health and vital functions. What looks like a watch band is helping us communicate with our Inner Physician in real time.  It is a mobile health and wellness monitor that it like having a doctor on your wrist, only this doctor knows everything about your body.  This is an invaluable tool for well-being for anyone whether you have health concerns or not.



The HELO LX is a breakthrough wearable technology, one of the most advanced lifestyle monitoring technology on the market today.  It empowers you to learn about what is normal for your body, make you more aware of your body, and what it needs and helps you avoid issues before they happen and gives you peace of mind!  This device has everything other lifestyle trackers has plus BP, Heart Rate, Breath, Mood, Energy, Real time EKG/ECG and soon will have Blood Sugar monitoring and Blood Alcohol.

Do you want to start a relationship with your Inner Physician?

Discover Helo will give you the details

When Falling in Love means Death



Yesterday was Easter, I spent the day alone, recovering from a heart attack and feeling deep sadness.  It was a very hard day for me…

I had a different kind of heart attack.  It is called stress-induced cardiomyopathy. It is not your typical heart attack, but caused by a stressful incident, in my case a fire.  This kind of heart attack is also known as “Broken Heart Syndrome”, which is not a surprised to me.  My heart was broken 31 years ago when my marriage almost killed me.  I remember waking up in ICU and the first words to my husband were “I want a divorce”.  My husband at the time was surprised and thought it was drugs talking, but it wasn’t.  I left the marriage soon after.

I remember thinking when I came out of anesthesia that if I was still alive , there must be a big reason and it wasn’t to be in a miserable marriage.  There was something I was here to do.  That was the wake up call that put me on the path to discovering my authentic self.

Stress-induced cardiomyopathy can happen even when you are healthy during a stressful incident, but I think mine was really a reflection of a long incident of heart break.

At some unconscious level I must have made a commitment to protect myself at any cost and put an energetic shield around my heart.  Somewhere in my psyche, falling in love again must have equaled death.  I know I felt I was protecting that wounded woman I was at the time.  And even years after she was heal…I unknowingly was protecting her!

All my life I had known that there was a kind of love that two people could have that was conscious, evolving, deeply loving and expansive and real and I continued to search for that, not only in myself but in a partner who shared those qualities.  I felt connected to someone, somewhere who loved me just as I am, who was whole and complete like I would be.

That love eluded me and I didn’t understand why.   I had several relationship early on after my divorce, but always chose the wrong kind of men.

Obviously because my heart was shut down.  After a while I just quit and decided to focus on finding me. I have done years of self development and consciousness raising to get where I am today.  I have dived deeper into myself than most people are willing today.  I had become the woman I wanted to be.

Yet love has eluded me…

My Journal:

It is Easter Sunday, my re-birth celebration- my broken heart is healing.  For 31 years my heart has been broken and I didn’t even know it until 5 months ago when I discovered it through my personal work.

My heart wants my heart mate!  I can’t be without him any more.  I can’t protect myself from what I have wanted all of my life.  I am so sad right now.  Sad  for holding back for 31 years.  It seems like such a waste! Being alone all of these years.  Sad, Sad, Sad…

Why has life been so hard?  Why so many challenges? I feel like I missed out! Maybe I will never find him because I have held back.  What if I messed up because I protected my heart for so long.  Maybe it is too late and I will be alone forever. What about that!  All this time alone and maybe I ruined my chances.

What if I missed out? That would be the saddest thing.  But I couldn’t do it differently.  It had to play out this way and I will just have to be okay being alone if I waited too long.  It is the path I am on right now.

I might have stayed in my protective cocoon too along and I might have missed out on the experience of true, conscious love for the sake of protecting myself.  How sad is that?!

I have noticed since the heart attack that I am in my heart, my voice is coming from a deeper place in me.  Obviously something has changed for me to be so public about my pain!

Aside from finding love my other big desire was to be able to live from my heart, express my authentic self and speak from a place of love.  So maybe it has all been worth it just for that experience…



The Inner Marriage

inner marriage
The Inner Marriage Collage by Katelyn Mariah

The pearl represents the union of masculine and feminine. The pearl is said to be formed of male fire/lightning and female water. More poetically said it is the merging of water and moonlight, a metaphor for the inner marriage creates pearls. The creation of a pearl inside of the clam is an alchemical process where one thing is transformed into something new.

Alchemy, best know as the age-old science of turning base metal, such as lead into gold. The same alchemical process happens in each of us as we turn what we perceive to be our biggest weaknesses into our greatest strength. In mystical tradition, it is metaphoric for a path of self-knowledge and transformation.  The symbols of alchemy lie deep in the collective consciousness. Pearl diving can be viewed as an alchemical process as is the inner marriage. The raw materials, which are the hidden aspects of the self, are discovered and transmuted into a beautiful new power and aspect of the self.

This alchemical process occurs within us every time we dive to our dive to our depths in search of that inner pearl.  If we are diligent and honest we can discover disowned parts of ourselves and change them magically into gold pearls.  We can find the things within us that are not working and make pearls of them.

June Birthstone Pearl 2

Many traditions suggest that deep in man’s psyche is an imprinted image of the ideal man. The same is true for women.  That image is subject to cultural change.  One wonders where it came from in the first place.  What characterizes the image of present-day man? What is the image of the new man and new woman, the one that is unfolding in the present day as we stand on the edge of change? Is this image a reflection coming from Source that tells us we are divine and perfect as we are?  That is what I am picking up.

The inner image can manifest as the dream lover, which is the person we feel would complete our soul. We want someone who will understand us, love and accept us and that would set us free so we could soar and express what is inside of us and give voice to our soul. The image of the ideal lover can take us away from reality and put unrealistic expectations on the lovers that do come into our lives.   That process has to happen within us first. I know that I have believed in a soul mate and there were many years where I chased after that illusive person who was going to complete me because I believed it was outside of me. I often found willing and unwilling people to play that part for me as I quested for wholeness.

A friend said to me once ” You are always very invested in some magical relationship or the pursuit of one or the fantasizing of one…how is that going on the love front?” It made me laugh because he was the object of one of my romantic fantasies at one time. I responded ” I gave up on magical thinking. It caused me too much trouble. Gosh, I have a fertile imagination!  I wish I would have channeled all of that energy into some steamy romance novel!  It would have been a best seller and I could have been rich by now.”

After a number of relationships that didn’t work I stopped chasing the fantasy and decided to find out who I was, which is when the process of inner marriage began for me.

My personal inner marriage had to take place while I was out of a relationship and alone. Little did I know it would take 12 years!

I think that most people can remember a time when they saw someone across the room and before the end of the evening they were married with children, in their mind. I was at home one day with my son and daughter and a group of their friends, all young people in their twenties.  Out of curiosity I asked ” has anyone ever made up a relationship in their mind?  I thought maybe I was the only weirdo that did that kind of thing. Everyone there said they had.  My son told me he had been married three times in his mind and my daughter had too and that I had a lot of grandchildren!  I did some of my greatest transformational work in fantasy relationships because of the angst it put me through!

It is not an outer partner who makes us complete.  We feel complete when balance occurs within us. The true inner marriage takes place inside of us when masculine and feminine unite. Balancing the feminine and masculine in the human soul lies at the heart of the processes of inner transformation.  Through this process we can rediscover our wild nature which is our true essence.

To know yourself is the path to conscious living, for in knowing who your are and accepting yourself completely with all of the strengths and weaknesses having equal status you can accept other’s completely and have compassion. You have healthy boundaries where you can set limits and also allow others to be in communion with you.

The process of the inner marriage begins when you realize that you do have a treasure within that is the pearl of your beauty.  The decision to explore the inner landscape takes a great deal of courage.  Many are not willing to go on that journey but those who do are greeted with unexpected surprises.  We may fear the worst and discover the best. We will discover lost parts of ourselves and enter into a marriage within that can lead us to find our equal in a partner in the outer world.  Pearls await you if you are willing to dive deeply and discover your wild nature.

I encourage you to dive in and go on this journey of self love…


Throw out the Resolutions about Dieting!


It’s the beginning of the NEW YEAR and what do most of us do?  We make resolutions that we can’t keep.  We go to extremes and we think in all or nothing terms.  This is why the average person can only stick with a new years resolution for 8 days before they quit.

I have done the same thing!  I always want to lose weight in the new year like everyone else and I pick a diet that sounds good and that will meet my goals.  I dive in and dive back out just as fast.

I decided to do it differently this year.  Instead of going all black and white, I am reminded that there is a whole rainbow between black and white that I can choose from!

I decided instead of a diet I would do a  One Day Whole Body Cleanse once a week. A Day of Rest. This wouldn’t be all about diet but ways that I can cleanse on all levels. Not only will I do a smoothie cleanse but I will take a day off from all social media and not watch any television.  I have seen a lot of people lately going all or nothing about Facebook for example, deactivating their accounts and staying off for long periods of time.  I am just taking a day off where I am not distracted by anything.


Our body needs a rest from heavy digesting and so does our mind and spirit.

While eliminating internal stagnation and the stimulation of social media, you can turn this into a day of pampering with relaxing activities that help you celebrate life.

Here are some ideas of nurturing things to do

  1. I do my day of cleansing on Sunday so I can choose not to work or have a schedule of any kind.  It is naturally a day of rest so it works perfect.
  2. Do yoga or other exercises and stretches that make you feel energetic, peaceful and calm.
  3. Take time to write in your journal insights and inspirations that come during the day.
  4. Rest when you feel tired
  5. Find a partner to do the cleansing day with you and spend time together that day.
  6. Go for a meditative walk or hike in nature and stay present to your surroundings.
  7. Do a cleansing facial mask
  8. Do a purifying Body Wrap. I like the It Works Body Wrap for this. They are actually sold in a 4 pack so you will have one for each cleansing day a month.
  9. Get a massage
  10. Read a good book that relaxes you.
  11. Listen to your favorite music
  12. Listen to meditation videos on YouTube, or a meditation CD
  13. Do skin brushing before you take a shower or bath to help the lymph system release toxins.
  14. Keep yourself hydrated by drinking lots of water or herbal tea
  15. Paint, write or do something else that you love that you never have time to do.
  16. Plan ahead for your cleanse so you don’t have to scramble the day of your cleanse to find what you need.

The point here is to not only cleanse your body but find things that nurture you.  This will also keep your mind off of food!



For cleansing, your day will consist of a Green Smoothie Juice meal, hot tea and hot water with lemon and filtered water. This One Day Green Smoothie cleanse is a great way to provide your body with a rest, a refresh & reboot!

For “meal times” (breakfast, lunch and dinner), it is very normal to drink about 17-27 oz (approx. 500ml to 800ml) each time in place of a solid food meal, and it can be quite filling. Drink your juice slowly and enjoy the taste, don’t gulp it down. Drink only as much as your body can take at any one time, comfortably. Listen to your body, it will tell you when it wants more, or if it’s got enough.

I prefer smoothies that are loaded with greens but you can switch it up each week and try different ones. There are so many green smoothie recipes that you can choose one you like from the links below:

1-20 Green Smoothie Recipes from Dr. Axe

2-8 Detox Smoothies to cleanse the body

3-The Glowing Green Smoothie

4-The One Day Detox

5-Super Detox Green Juice

6-Detoxing cleanse how much juice and water


As long as you are cleansing why not clear your space too. It doesn’t have to be complicated. Every Sunday, go through one are in your house and throw away 9 things that you don’t need. Just think, if you did this every Sunday what a difference that would make in a year!

If you have recipes you like share it below in comments or if you decide to try the One Day Body Cleanse let us know how it goes in the comments below.

Remember this can be fun and nurturing!

So Why DO I Write?


I woke up with this question in my mine and these are the answers that came.  They haven’t changed in the 15 years that I have been writing and sharing it.

I write because something I have experienced and transformed might help someone do the same.

I write transparently because someone reading might say they have felt the same way, and now they don’t feel so alone.

I write to add hope to someone’s day.

I write about the hard things, the messy things, the things we don’t want to talk about, as well as the adventures and successes to show that we are all human and everything that happens  to us brings us more in touch with our authentic selves.


I write for my new friend in the UK and his salamander, Big Boy because he might find a nugget in my book that will change his life.

I write to share my discoveries because they might help someone else see thing through new eyes.


I write to share my adventures because life is suppose to be FUN!



535907_10204717688162620_1349760473352285997_nI write for my friends, so they can know me better and maybe something I wrote will touch them deep in side and sparks a new thought or feeling.