What’s in a Name?


22 years ago today I legally changed my name. I picked both a new first name and a new second name. Katelyn Mariah. I really don’t have a last name but the government insisted that I had a last name so that had to be Mariah, though I’m really not Ms. Mariah. I am Katelyn Mariah, which means Pure Wind.

When you change your name your life changes. Your name has a frequency and vibration and there is a color and tone assigned to each letter and your name as a whole. The numerology has change. So when people say your name to you, you are hearing a new vibration and frequency and over time it changes you. You become a new person.

It’s important to give it a lot of thought before changing your name because it changes everything.

I remember that process taking three years and it wasn’t easy because everything that didn’t align with the new frequency had to drop away.

The interesting thing that happened to me was the day I changed my name no one called me by my old name again. Not my family, friends or even my coworkers. I had chosen the right name and everyone knew it.


My Psyche’s Journey


I have posted this painting before but I am learning more about it…

As many of you know, my artwork is prophetic. The message may be for someone else but often times it’s for me. Many times there are layers of meaning, as people who I have done soul portraits find out.

I woke up thinking about this painting. When I painted it In Spain in Nov 2015, I thought it was Psyche floating over the River Styx at the end of a journey, which it was at the time, but it turns out to be the beginning of a journey too.

Psyche and Eros is an epic love story. In the story Psyche is given four tasks that she must complete in order to love and marry Eros. The tasks are life threatening or impossible and it is Venus’ hope that one of them will kill her, which they didn’t because she found a way to get through each of them. She came out stronger and more determined with each task.

Not long after painting this painting I started the epic journey of my heart. My four tasks were three heart attacks and open heart surgery. All of them life threatening tasks. Each one of them difficult yet transformed me and made me stronger.  Like Psyche I didn’t know the next task was coming and I wasn’t sure I could complete each task

Just like Psyche my impossible journey has opened my heart to love again. For many years I was in conflict about love. A big part of me wanted a partner and another part of me was committed to staying single until hell froze over. I had done 30 years worth of personal work and couldn’t understand why I wasn’t in a relationship.  There was good reason that I chose to protect my heart in that way and in the end I had to have my heart opened surgically.

After I had the first heart attack the inner conflict became very clear to me. There was no way I was going to attract anyone with that program running. My aura was sending that message out to every man who came near me. It took Four difficult, life threatening tasks to clear it out.

Now I am ready to love again.


My Personal River Styx


As a visionary artist my paintings are often prophetic.  This one was painting in Ibiza, Spain and at the time I wasn’t sure of its meaning. 4 months after I painted it I began a journey on my personal River Styx that started with a heart attack. (You can read some of my blogs about it here.)

A simple understanding of this painting is that it is Psyche floating in a chrysalis on the River Styx toward the moon.  She moves gracefully over the souls of the dead who lost their lives in the river. I understood the image to mean it is possible to float gracefully over perilous waters when navigating the darkness with light.  The light and dark create balance and she is able to find her way.

In the story of Psyche and Eros she has to complete 4 almost impossible tasks in order to win the favor of the Goddess Aphrodite who was jealous of her and wanted her to die. The last part of the story, in which Psyche has important tasks to fulfill, shows the making of her Self. The third task was to go to the mouth of the River Styx where it entered the underworld and fill a crystal vase with water.  Through death, which is an organic and symbolic part of life, she is born into eternal life by undergoing tests, purifications, death, resurrection, and ascension.

In Asteroid Goddesses, Demetra George says that Psyche archetype is connected with psychic sensitivity, especially towards the mind and feelings of another, but also with being able to feel and communicate with nature.

The river Styx (“the river of hate”) was the boundary between the Earth and the Underworld. It separates the realm of the living from that of the dead. To touch the water is fatal, yet the Styx is the river of life and psyche is learning that she must meet life patiently and carefully. Mythologically the River Styx is the river of life and death.  Its raging torrents are the source of human creativity and vitality.  It could be seen as a symbol of the collective unconscious.  Psyche’s task is to draw from its primordial waters only those energies that are appropriate for her emerging individuality (ego self) symbolised by the crystal goblet.

On her path, Psyche is now integrating the archetypally masculine energies symbolized by the eagle: a solar bird of consciousness. The only way for Psyche to complete the task is to not only listen to her feminine self but also subordenate herself to the masculine spirit of the eagle/Zues. This symbolizes the union of the masculine and feminine and how working together gets the task done.

“Eagles are the opposite energy to the energy carried by the river Styx: thus this labour entails the unification of opposites. In connection with eagle symbolism, Cirlot shares an interesting thought in his Dictionary of Symbols: “… the constellation of the Eagle is placed just above the man carrying the pitcher of Aquarius, who follows the bird’s movement so closely that he seems to be drawn after it by unseen bonds. From this it has been inferred that Aquarius is to be identified with Ganymede, and also with the fact that even the gods themselves need the water of the Uranian forces of life.” The higher Aquarian waters of pure understanding are juxtaposed with the murky, toxic waters of hate flowing in the Styx. Both streams reflect the mysteries of Life and Death, as the whole myth of Eros and Psyche does.”

Zeus’ eagle now comes to Psyche giving her an overview of how to go after what you need, how you avoid the dangers, keep your eye on the prize, and go for it. The eagle takes the crystal goblet. It returns to give Psyche the goblet, now filled with Stygian water that she was to get for task three. One would say that at each step Psyche has learned something new. The eagle, has the ability to see what it wants and plunge from the sky to grab it in its talons. That ability to see the overall picture, to see the forest but not each individual tree, is a way of being in the world.  The masculine focus and action combined with the feminine intuition and creative thinking forms a balanced union of the energies, which helps her complete this difficult task.

In my journey to heal my heart I was very aware of the energies of death, especially after the second heart attack which had a 1% chance of happening.  I felt like I was floating on both the waters of life and the waters of death in a very delicate juxtaposition. My task was also to integrate the masculine and feminine energies within myself so that I could live a balanced and authentic life.

At times when I was focused on the idea that I might die I had to rise above those feelings like and eagle and get a higher prospective otherwise I was overwhelmed with anxiety. My task was healing and anxiety didn’t help me with that task.  I had to draw from the life giving waters remembering that I had the vehicle to float gracefully above that waters of death that seemed to be pulling at me.

There is so much more to that painting and so many more connections that could be made but that is a taste of how I see it as being prophetic for my journey and how the information I get is often ahead of what happens in the physical world.


Magic on the Waves


One of my favorite places to hike is the Saint Croix River.  I have gone there for years just to walk along the shore in my bare feet, feeling the sand squish between my toes.  It has always been a place were I could find peace and get back to my center, which is interesting because my brother drowned on this river.

I day several years ago I was having a bad day. I decided to go the river to get back into my center.  The river has always given me gifts when I go. Often they are significant messages for me for where I am in my life.  I was hoping to be gifted with something that would help me shift my mood.

I arrived at the river and descended the stair.  Some time I should count the stairs to see how many their are. I am guessing about 50.  Going down it doesn’t really matter abut coming up it seems like forever before you get to the top.  I went to the waters edge and began to walk.  For a few minutes I watched the swallows flying in and out of their nests that they had created out of mud on the cliff face.  Once a nest was completed it looked like an organic part of the cliff.  The cliffs along this part of the river are peppered with these clay creations.

I walked to the water and took off my shoes and began to walk.  I love the feel of the sand on my feet as the water rolls in over them.  It is organic and cool.  Walking in the water calms me.  I walked only a few feet when a wave carrying an egg came rolling toward me.  Yes a very large egg! I bent down and swooped up the egg in my hand.  I was stunned to receive this gift that was in perfect condition.  As you can see in the photo the egg is dull white with brown splotches on it and is almost 4 inches long from point to point. I picked it up and in almost filled the palm of my hand.  As soon as I picked it up the thought came into my head that it was an eagle’s egg, but I didn’t know for sure.

A pair of blue herons flew by and it seemed they were looking down at me.  Maybe there were scouts out looking for an egg that rolled out of a nest at the heron rookery up stream.  If you have ever seen a rookery the nests are stacked on top of one another like so many condos.  Maybe the egg had fallen from a goose or a swan as she flew over and it dropped safely into the river.  Something had saved if from cracking. Who has eggs roll up on a wave and land in their hand?  All I knew for sure was I was just gifted with an egg.  It was a somewhat smelly but beautiful egg.

I stood at the water’s edge with an egg in my hand and knew that I was holding a metaphor for new life, a time of birthing, a new beginning.  If it was an eagle egg, what a great metaphor for the birth of freedom and new vision!  Now I had shifted back into my center, into that place of patient waiting, that a few hours ago had seemed so hard to contain.  Now it was easy because I understood the metaphor of the gift I had received.

(When I did the research it turned out to be an egg from a Golden Eagle)


Only in Your Dreams

I have been going through a huge change since the Solar Eclipse of March 8th, 2016.  That particular eclipse occurred with the sun and moon at 18 degrees Pisces.  When I looked at my natal chart my North Node was at 18 degrees Pisces.  The North Node in your natal chart indicates what you are moving toward in life that is your destiny, the things you came to accomplish in this life time.  I realized that this eclipse was telling me that I had a big opportunity to release what was keeping me from accomplishing my mission and I made a commitment to clear everything out.

I created a ritual to do that and wrote all of the things that I wanted to release on a piece of paper, which I took to my favorite place on the river and read out loud. It was a list of about 25 things some small and many of them big. After I was done I tore it up and placed in on a smoldering log that must have come from some party the night before.

I made a list of all the things I wanted to welcome into my life and embrace and that was another very long list.  With that list I waited until the exact moment when the eclipse would be half way through because in the vesica pisces the center is the most powerful part.

This is the Vesica Pisces geom3-vp

It is one of the oldest symbols on the planet and it represents the Mother God and Father God coming together to create offspring. The center of the symbol is where manifestation happens.  I started researching and working with this symbol at the Solar Eclipse. There is a whole lot more about this symbol that I won’t go into right now. The symbol for the Eclipse and the Equinox is the Vesica Pisces so it is about balancing masculine/feminine, dark and light.

After I did this ritual I was immediately sent into a transformational process that continued to the Spring Equinox, which was at 7:30 PM on March 19th.  The Spring Equinox is when we have an equal amount of Dark and Light in a 24 hour period , so we are talking about balance again.

At 4 AM on March 20th I had a dream.  A ritual was being performed for me and the Sacred Marriage, represented by the Six Pointed Star and the Vesica Pisces were placed in my body.  The Sacred Marriage was placed in my heart, and the Vesica Pisces in my Solar Plexus.  The Solar Plexus is the vortex in our body where our personal power resides so it made sense that the Vesica Pisces was placed there.

The Sacred Marriage/ Six Pointed Star:


The Sacred Marriage is a two fold process.  It begins with the balance of the masculine and feminine within which leads to the ability to manifest a union in the outer world as a partnership with another. I have been in this process for many years.  By placing the Sacred Marriage in my heart it was activating that process internally in me at a whole nother level.

Between 4 and 5 PM that night I had a heart attack….

This is the physical representation of this process in my body:

body image

To be continued….



Meaning of the Infinity Symbol

infinity in the sky

I was driving home from Northern Minnesota one night and I saw a perfectly formed infinity sign in the sky.  I was driving and taking this photo so it isn’t as clear as what I actually saw.  Here is a highlight of the sign:

infinity in the sky highlight If you look closely you can see a heart in the lower loop.

The infinity sign was the center piece of my personal soul portrait for 2015 so I feel there has to be some significance to me seeing it in the sky.

Here is a bit about the infinity symbol also known as the lemniscate:

Infinity sign/lemniscate

The infinity symbol is a geometrical representation depicting the perpetual motion/interaction of Energy and Matter and their indestructibility. The English term “infinity” has been derived from the Latin term “infinitas” which is translated as unboundedness”.

The infinity sign, the figure of eight, and the mathematical lemniscate all refer to the same shape that contains a wealth of complex meaning within its fluid lines. This mysterious symbol is found on an everyday object, the camera, where it appears as the infinity lens focus.

As a mathematical device, the infinity sign was first “discovered” in 1655 by John Wallis, but its significance as a religious symbol is much older. The infinity sign has its origins in the Arabic numerals that actually came from India in the first place. The sign can be drawn in one continuous movement, making a seesaw movement of clockwise and counterclockwise loops. These loops reflect the balance of opposites; male and female, day and night, dark and light.

Because the circles of the lemniscate sit side by side, the sign implies equality between these opposing forces, with the connecting point in the center the convergent point. The sign epitomizes the idea of sexual union and of “two becoming one.” The infinity sign stands for wholeness and completion.

infinityThe true nature of the infinity symbol lies in its multidimensional nature, and this nature reveals itself to us in layers of awareness..  The middle point represents the interlocking point, the merging point, the anchor point or the zero point consciousness where the two “parallel” or “opposite” balance each other out.

This point represents the two polar opposites, the matter and anti-matter, the parallel nature of everything in Creation. (e.g. parallel universes) and the Twin Flame nature of All That Is.  It represents the Divine Balance within the Divine scale of these two opposing forces: the Divine masculine and feminine.  There is an infinite flow of in-breath and out-breath exchanged, there fore the infinity symbol is a continuous loop.

The infinity symbol represents the endless cycles of Life in Creation, as a continuously flowing, “in and out” from Source itself.  Everything functions as counterparts, which are always equally aligned and counter-balanced while the middle Source point is always still, which is the nature of Eternity.  So the external lines of the symbol represent the nature of Infinity of Creation while the merging point represents the Eternity of Source.

The Ascended Master Saint Germain began with an image of two circles that symbolized the separate entities before remembering the Twin Flame journey. He continued by showing the infinity symbol and described how this was the beginning of the Twin Flames journey.

As the two circles come closer together and begin to form the two halves of the eight, (infinity symbol) this symbolized the beginning of the coming together of the Divine Masculine and the Divine Feminine. Through working together -whether in the physical or the etheric realms- they would experience within the inner eye of the heart the moving energies as they traveled around the infinity symbol. As the two energies meet in the middle they can be clearly seen as the magnetic energies of the Divine Feminine and the electric energies of the Divine Masculine.

I have some ideas about what this sign means to me which I am keeping sacred for the time being.