It’s Easier to Hide than be Seen.

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The way I have chosen to use Facebook is to allow people to watch my inner process as it unfolds, uncensored. This is unprecedented work because people don’t do this sort of thing on social media. They probably do do it in real life either.   It’s easier to look like you are all together and positive all of the time. I don’t know about you but I am not always positive and upbeat. I like to think I am a balance of both. Sounds human to me.

I have been called to do it differently. The books I write and what I share on social media are real, authentic, raw life as it unfolds. It makes some uncomfortable and others feel the connection to something in them.

I am living a human experience just like the rest of the humans on the planet. Some can relate to something I say or feel because we all feel these feelings at times in our lives. I am just saying it out loud. It’s through our openness, rawness and realness that we heal, not only ourselves but those watching who can take it in.

The problem in this kind of sharing is it is subject to interpretation which may or may not be accurate. People might think I am falling apart when I am not. People might thing I am broken when I am not. The interpretation is based on individual filters.  I am okay with that. If someone thinks I am crazy, oh well…

Vulnerability hasn’t always been easy for me. Trust me when I say it has taken 30 years of deep inner work to feel comfortable letting people see me when things might not be so great. One has to be comfortable with what is happening before they can say it out loud to other people. Shame, embarrassment and fear of judgment usually stop us from being authentic. I had to work through all of that.

I am on the planet to help empower others. I do that by sharing who I am. By sharing my struggles and my victories and by normalizing the whole human experience. It’s okay not to be okay all of the time. It doesn’t take away from your value. In fact being vulnerable increases our sense of love and belonging.

Sacred Garden

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I woke up at 3 am with the words “Fertile Loam” in my head. It reminded me of another painting I did at around the same time as the one I posted yesterday. I love how my paintings continue to speak to me. This one was painting 18 years ago when it was speaking to me about something else and now it is informing my present moment.

This one is called Sacred Garden. It is a reflection of the beauty that can come from the compost of our lives. You can see the decay and also the beauty that is growing from it. The decay is as important to the process as the flowers.

I feel like I have been in the composting phase of my life. A lot of what wasn’t serving me has turned to decaying organic material that can nourish the new seeds that I want to plant. This part of the process isn’t fun. It’s tumors, heart issues, financial difficulties, the stuff of my life right now. The things that are going into the soil to make it fertile for new growth.

Thinking about the new seeds I want to plant in my life’s garden and what they will grow into is fun. What are those seeds and how do I define them so they can come into my reality?

Can you relate to this process ?