Figuring Things out is Just Resistance


We are taught to “figure things out” in our lives. I have gotten really good at it over the years. Until I realized that “figuring things out” was resisting what is and creating a story. What does this mean, what does that mean? Storytelling is our way of making sense of things but it takes us out of the moment and being in acceptance of the present.

I have learned through this heart journey that I might think I know what is going on and what it all means, but I don’t really know. Anything I decide is just speculation and storytelling so I feel a sense of control, power and safety.

My recent bypass stripped that all away. My heart was “opened, exposed and vulnerable ” both literally and metaphorically. I have surrendered my need to know and understand what it means and am allowing what is, the good, the bad, the ugly, it’s all part of the experience. Because of this surrender I am healing quickly and know in my heart I will recover completely.

I am at peace and in that peace all things are possible.

Toxic Reaction to Drug Eluding Stents



Today is my son’s birthday. Last year on his birthday I had to call him a second time to tell him I had another heart attack. That heart attack might have been prevented if the doctors had listened to me.

When I had the heart attack in Austria the doctor who did the angioplasty told me that the reason for that heart attack was because my body had an allergic reaction to the medication on the stent. He did not put new stents in. He went as far as to put a new medication in the stent to see if it would keep it open. He told me he was making this decision on my behalf. I believed him then and I still do.

When I saw the cardiologist here and told him what I was told he said it wasn’t true, I must have misunderstood the doctor or what the doctor said was wrong and that never happens. He refused to listen to me and argued with me for several minutes. When I had the heart attack a year ago today he put 3 more of the same stents in that I had reacted to. I couldn’t say anything about it because I was under anesthesia. When they all closed up in November he wondered why it kept happening.

There is actually a warning about this on the label. He should have known the possible side effects.

**Please don’t get the idea that you shouldn’t do stents because of what happened to me. Millions of people have stents placed in there hearts, and most don’t have problems. So I am not saying this to worry people. They do save lives. A reaction like this is usually unlikely to happen. There are alternatives to stents if you don’t have serious blockages.

What bothers me is the “one size fits all approach” that I have experienced, and how hard it is in the system to advocate for yourself. They say “we had to put stents in and here are the five medications you need to take.” My body is very sensitive to pharmaceuticals, and doesn’t do well with them. I had allergic reactions to 3 of the 5 medications they gave me and the medication on the stents. Before the 1st heart attack I had taken minimal pharmaceuticals.

Don’t be afraid to advocate for yourself of have someone else do it if you can. I advocate for less invasive options first when at all possible.

I put a link to an article about the body rejecting stents and a link to the warnings about the stents I had.


Ignorance based cardiology :How often a coronary artery reject a stent ?

I had Boston Scientific Stents. Here are the warnings about them.–coronary/promus-premier-stent-system/promus-premier-indications.html