Is This Synchronicity?

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I love synchronicity. I even love the word. I am experiencing it more and more these days because of this place of non-resistance I am in.

My word for the year is joy, so every morning I pose the question in my journal about how to line up with joy today. So I did that and my higher wisdom said “keep doing what you are doing.”

so I have been playing with the word joy, and this phrase “I don’t know how ________”

Yesterday we got about 10 inches of snow and I had to move my car off the street before 8 AM this morning, because the city was going to plow our street. I really wasn’t looking forward to digging out so I said out loud. ”

***I don’t know how but it will be easy to move my car!” In my mind I could see my car moving easily down the street, through the snow.

I got bundled up warm, unlocked the door and walked out. There were my neighbors Roger and Mary removing all the snow from my car! I started the car to warm it up and Roger cleared the windows. He told me he would get it out of the snow bank and onto the road so it would be easier for me to drive. Instead he moved it out of the snowbank, down the street and parked it! At the same time another neighbor was shoveling my walk.

Synchronicity? Great intending? Who knows. All I know is it raised the joy vibration of my day 10 fold ❤️

All of this magic took place in 30 minutes!!!

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Rewilding Yourself!

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What do you plan to do with your one Wild and precious life? Mary Oliver

Rewilding is not going backwards, to live in the woods – superficial stuff like that. It’s reconnecting to that wildness dormant inside you; the amazing, rich thing that’s there waiting to be engaged with.

What if you redesigned your life with your wild nature in mind? What would it look like? How would it be different? First we need to understand what is meant by “rewilding “.

Wildness’ is difficult to fully define, and so too ‘rewilding’ is not a fixed concept; more simply it could be an openness to truly being alive. It will look different to each individual. Some might be turned off by the word ‘wild’ because they think it means out of control and unruly but it is far from that.  The following quote is helpful in understanding it:

“To be fully human is to be wild. Wild is the strange pull and whispering wisdom. It’s the gentle nudge and the forceful ache. It is your truth, passed down from the ancients, and the very stream of life in your blood. Wild is the soul where passion and creativity reside, and the quickening of your heart. Wild is what is real, and wild is your home.”

― Victoria Erickson

I have always felt this powerful pull. We are connected to it when we are children and it is lost in the domestication process. Domestication is the opposite of wildness. We go to school and are taught rules for living in society. From there we go to work and learn how to live someone else’s dream for the sake of security.  We stop connecting with nature on a regular basis. We sit at computers, work alone, watch television, eat at certain times, learn how to fit in and be accepted.

That isn’t who we really are because through the process we forget who we are! We live in a world that is constantly pulling us away from our wild nature and out of sync with our true self.

Rewiling is a celebration of our true selves.

“For many people, a connection to nature is a good place to start remembering this sense of belonging. Nature also reminds us of how we need to both grow and be still. We need to move through all the rhythms of life – seeding, growing, harvesting, composting, resting – and not only strive to constantly produce. As we slow down, we become more present, and feel ourselves here, instead of struggling to get somewhere else.

“It becomes easier to remember who we are and what is important. Then we can make choices that are true to our essential nature, being ourselves, in tune with the world.” Jonathan Horowitz

Are you ready to start rewilding yourself?

More blogs to come…check the ReWilding Yourself tab on the list

Cracking Open Creatively

Our Wild, creative nature

Unleashing My Wild Creativity

I finally did it! My first painting in 5 years. I have done some small work which you can find in my 30 Day Art Practice, in this blog, but this is the first serious, visionary piece I have done. I have my last painting on my wall. It was painted in September of 2006.

I wasn’t sure what made me stop except a long list of excuses, including not enough time, nothing to paint and all of the usual things. Of course there was something deeper, there always is.

The painting above is an integration piece for me and the real reason I stopped painting. I didn’t know it at the time but I felt invisible. I felt like no one cared about my work but me, so why even paint. For years I painted at least one painting a week, sometimes more than that. Many artists feel that…

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My Psyche’s Journey

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I have posted this painting before but I am learning more about it…

As many of you know, my artwork is prophetic. The message may be for someone else but often times it’s for me. Many times there are layers of meaning, as people who I have done soul portraits find out.

I woke up thinking about this painting. When I painted it In Spain in Nov 2015, I thought it was Psyche floating over the River Styx at the end of a journey, which it was at the time, but it turns out to be the beginning of a journey too.

Psyche and Eros is an epic love story. In the story Psyche is given four tasks that she must complete in order to love and marry Eros. The tasks are life threatening or impossible and it is Venus’ hope that one of them will kill her, which they didn’t because she found a way to get through each of them. She came out stronger and more determined with each task.

Not long after painting this painting I started the epic journey of my heart. My four tasks were three heart attacks and open heart surgery. All of them life threatening tasks. Each one of them difficult yet transformed me and made me stronger.  Like Psyche I didn’t know the next task was coming and I wasn’t sure I could complete each task

Just like Psyche my impossible journey has opened my heart to love again. For many years I was in conflict about love. A big part of me wanted a partner and another part of me was committed to staying single until hell froze over. I had done 30 years worth of personal work and couldn’t understand why I wasn’t in a relationship.  There was good reason that I chose to protect my heart in that way and in the end I had to have my heart opened surgically.

After I had the first heart attack the inner conflict became very clear to me. There was no way I was going to attract anyone with that program running. My aura was sending that message out to every man who came near me. It took Four difficult, life threatening tasks to clear it out.

Now I am ready to love again.

 

Unleash Your Wild Creativity

 

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When I use the word ‘wild’ I don’t mean out of control. In it’s original sense, it means to live a natural life with innate integrity and healthy boundaries. When you are in touch with your innate nature you are in union with your creativity.

In our natural state we carry everything we need for healing and staying in balance. We are in touch with our deep knowing. We don’t censor ourselves and we live authentic lives.  We are in touch with our dreams, desires, personal signs and symbols and have the tools to access them.

As a society we have lost touch with the instructive psyche, our inner guide and we rely on outside sources to guide our behavior and decisions. The inspiration, insight and images and dreams we carry are not allowed to develop.

Would you like to get in touch with your innate creative nature which is part of all of us? Would you like to revive your spirit of play and have fun?

Most people lose touch with their spirit of creativity around 10 years old whe someone criticizes something they created. That sense of play gets shut down and life gets serious. Creativity is a skill that when developed is life changing.

How can you activate your creativity?

Here are a few ideas:

  1. Learn meditation
  2. Finger paint
  3. Start a journal
  4. Create a collage
  5. Dance like no one is watching
  6. Sing in the shower and make up the words
  7. Start a Garden
  8. Go to the Zoo and talk to the animals
  9. Watch a funny movie
  10. Start a blog
  11. Play with children
  12. Do a zigsaw puzzle
  13. Go to the craft store and pick out a new craft and dive in.
  14. Walk in nature and talk to the trees and see if they talk back
  15. Record your dreams in the morning and see if you can decide what they mean
  16. Lay on the ground and see if you can see things in the clouds, like animals, birds, angels
  17. Have a tea party with friends and have everyone dress up.
  18. Read a science fiction novel
  19. Write a poem
  20. Talk to your pets like they are human. Tell them a story

Ready, Set, GO!

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Prophetic Art

I am posting this because it is a beautiful painting but because I noticed something interesting that I didn’t see before that is very profound. I hope you read the interpretation.

I am a visionary artist, so much of my artwork is prophetic. I paint my vision from a higher perspective. When I paint I am not thinking about what is coming through, I just listen and painted what I “hear” and “see” at a higher level.

I painted this on November 4th. If you look at the right side of the heart it looks like there is a bypass coming out of the side. It actually goes up and connects into the DNA/Tree of Life. I found out on the 8th that I needed to have the bypass, so 4 days after I painted this.

The painting is full of beauty, new beginnings (the eggs), Life (the tree of Life) and change ( the number 5) fertility (the earth) and it says that I am going to be amazing after the surgery. Life is actually coming out of the arteries in the form of eggs. The DNA is transforming into the tree of life. The crystalline core of the earth is sending energy to the heart. WOW!

I usually don’t get messages this fast, sometimes it takes years for me to understand what a painting is saying. This might not have meaning to anyone else but it is profoundly healing to me.

This message makes me really happy and gives me a lot of peace. I am so blessed to have this prophetic gift.

Update…

The base of the DNA in the painting that goes into the heart is almost the same as the actual bypass. See the drawing of the surgery on the heart pillow drawn by my surgeon. So the bypass has opened me to a new level of life.

When will Wholeness become as Important as Chocolate?

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“Giving chocolate to others is an intimate form of communication, a sharing of deep, dark secrets.”

Milton Zeiman, publisher  of “Chocolate News

” Healing may not be so much about getting better, as about letting go of everything that isn’t you-all of the expectations, all of the beliefs – and becoming who you are.”

The title of this article is a bit tongue in cheek and what I mean by it is, when will becoming our authentic selves become as important as our addictions?  Americans are so hooked to materialistic satisfactions that spiritual health and well-being are neglected. In this article I am using chocolate as a metaphor for things we do to excess, because chocolate can be one of those things.  How many people can eat just a corner of a chocolate bar?  I know I can’t!

Many people don’t think twice about spending  100’s of dollars a month on coffee, cigarettes, snacks, etc. but when it comes to healing and self discovery there is a lot of thought and rationalization about how much it will cost to eat healthy, buy supplements, get a massage, do shamanic healing, a workshop or intuitive reading that might move you higher.  How many people do you know who rationalize why they don’t have time to exercise or do a spiritual practice that will support wholeness yet they spend hours in front of the computer or television?

Many people think that if you need to heal there must be something wrong with you.  The word implies that and that is why I would rather use the word wellness.  For this article I will stick with the word healing because we all know what it means.

I define healing as the path one consciously chooses  to achieve wholeness of body, mind and spirit.  Healing is remembering who you really are and letting go of those things that are blocking that experience.  We are all whole and complete beings who can create wonderous lives, we just don’t realize it.  Most people live in a very limited circle of their potential, doing the same things they have done for years because it is comfortable.   On the other hand if we live a path of authenticity all possibilities are among the choices we have as we live in the present moment.

Spiritual, emotional and physical balance are key ingredient to living a peaceful fulfilled life in these times of global chaos.  If wholeness is so important than why do so many of us hesitate to do what it takes to remember our authentic self. Many stay away from remembering who they really are because the process of getting there can be painful, messy and take time. It doesn’t happen over night! My personal experience of self discovery has including all three of those.  I am so compelled to know who I really am that I am willing to walk through the fire but most are not.  A lot of people are just waiting for that quick fix.

What does chocolate have to do with healing and wholeness for gosh sake?  Chocolate can be equated to the quick fix. Most of us believe that the chocolate bar will satisfy our craving, without giving it a lot of thought. We grab the chocolate bar at the checkout counter even if it’s cheap, bad chocolate. Stores place them there on purpose because they know people will spontaneously grab them.  I have.  What if we had the same attitude about health and well-being?  What if we believed without a shadow of a doubt that we could live healthy lives no matter what our age? Would we give up “chocolate”?

CHOCOLATE AS A METAPHOR

As a metaphor, chocolate can mean nurturing and satisfaction.  Both Serotonin and Endorphins are released when we eat chocolate. Eating dark chocolate induces serotonin a neurotransmitter, which communicates a feeling of calm and helps stabilize the mood.  Endorphins send high levels of energy and feelings of euphoria to the brain and is a natural pain reliever.  When we eat chocolate we feel good!  Chocolate raises the level of trytophan which is a associated with pleasure and is suspected of being  the chemical mediator of the “falling in love’ feeling, which may explain chocolate’s alleged aphrodisiac qualities.  Other chemicals found in chocolate have the ability to mimic the psychoactive effects of marijuana, producing euphoria and heightened sensitivity.  Who knew!  No wonder is is so addicting!

Our addiction have the same effect on us as chocolate does!

The ecstatic experience of eating something sweet is a metaphor for exploring the deeper mysteries of life.  When you bite into a chocolate truffle and you are filled with a feeling of bliss, you want it to last FOREVER!  Eventually you have to swallow the chocolate and the sensation fades leaving a longing for your next encounter of happiness.

Don’t get me wrong, I had to stop eating chocolate because the kind of chocolate I reached for was not the dark, unsweetened kind that can have health benefits, it was the kind filled with added fat and sugar.  I had to acquire a taste for the good kind because I had gotten use to the bad kind.   As you see, chocolate has ingredients in it that is good for you but only if you eat it dark and unsweetened, which is usually not the kind that we are craving and in moderation.  We have spent too much time waiting in line at checkout counters where bad chocolate fills the shelves. We have eaten those bars and felt temporarily satisfied.  That’s why every time you get to the checkout counter you grab another.

Americans are consuming chocolate at a rate of 3.3 billion pounds per year, which means many of us our craving a feeling of calm and peace and happiness. Take a pound of Godiva chocolate, for example, which cost $85.00 and multiply it by billions of pounds that Americans are consuming  and you have a lot of money!  I can’t imagine how much is spent on coffee, cigarettes and alcohol to achieve similar experiences.  Think of what would happen if we could pass up that candy bar and channel that money into something that could help us on a deeper level and have lasting effects such as our personal evolution.

Chocolate is a symptom of our addictive natures.

 The addictive craving for chocolate may be due to the mood-altering power of several of its components, which I mentioned above. Chocolate is just a symptom of our addictive nature.

I heard the late Angeles Arrien PH.D speak at a conference years ago, about conflict resolution across cultures.  In her book, The Four Fold Way she identifies four universal addictions.  Our individual addictions, be it chocolate, drugs and alcohol, sex, shopping, eating or gambling are actually symptoms of these deeper patterns of addiction that are shared with people around the world.

      The four universal addictions she identified are:

1. The addiction to intensity. This shows up when love is lacking. The addiction to intensity is a low tolerance for boredom. If things become too dull or too routine, people addicted to intensity will dramatize, sensationalize, and exaggerate their life experience in order to feel alive.

2. The addiction to perfection. This appears when true excellence is misunderstood and true power is unrealized. The addiction to perfection leaves no room for mistakes. People addicted to perfection struggle to cultivate and maintain their self-image, a façade covering up who they really are. They have little tolerance for the vulnerability of authenticity. People with this addiction think vulnerability is a weakness.

3. The addiction to knowledge. This is the opposite of wisdom. The addiction to knowledge is a compulsive desire to understand and control. People with this addiction don’t like surprises. They need to know the outcome: how things are going to turn out. In other words, they have trust issues.  I can relate to this one because “figuring things out” use to give me a feeling of control.

4. The addiction to focusing on what’s not working rather than what is working. What’s missing here is seeing the big picture. This addiction is fueled by the negative bias our brains have. The fourth basic human addiction is focusing on what is not working instead of what is working. The truth is that 99.99% of our life is working. We’ve all experienced illness; even a tiny splinter can be incredibly uncomfortable. Our bodies are continually orchestrating countless processes that would, if they weren’t working perfectly, give us pain and dis-ease. The same is true outside our bodies. Everything in the universe, far beyond our awareness, is holding in place this precious planet and our fragile life. If you think back to any accidents you’ve experienced, you know how easily things can “go wrong.”

Which addiction do you relate too?  That is the place to start, if you want to start living an authentic life. Explore how it plays out in your life and start making changes. Try reducing the amount of time you spend in the addiction. It might be difficult to give up your newly discovered addiction so as you get started go out and buy a healthy chocolate bar!

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Figuring Things out is Just Resistance

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We are taught to “figure things out” in our lives. I have gotten really good at it over the years. Until I realized that “figuring things out” was resisting what is and creating a story. What does this mean, what does that mean? Storytelling is our way of making sense of things but it takes us out of the moment and being in acceptance of the present.

I have learned through this heart journey that I might think I know what is going on and what it all means, but I don’t really know. Anything I decide is just speculation and storytelling so I feel a sense of control, power and safety.

My recent bypass stripped that all away. My heart was “opened, exposed and vulnerable ” both literally and metaphorically. I have surrendered my need to know and understand what it means and am allowing what is, the good, the bad, the ugly, it’s all part of the experience. Because of this surrender I am healing quickly and know in my heart I will recover completely.

I am at peace and in that peace all things are possible.

Toxic Reaction to Drug Eluding Stents

 

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Today is my son’s birthday. Last year on his birthday I had to call him a second time to tell him I had another heart attack. That heart attack might have been prevented if the doctors had listened to me.

When I had the heart attack in Austria the doctor who did the angioplasty told me that the reason for that heart attack was because my body had an allergic reaction to the medication on the stent. He did not put new stents in. He went as far as to put a new medication in the stent to see if it would keep it open. He told me he was making this decision on my behalf. I believed him then and I still do.

When I saw the cardiologist here and told him what I was told he said it wasn’t true, I must have misunderstood the doctor or what the doctor said was wrong and that never happens. He refused to listen to me and argued with me for several minutes. When I had the heart attack a year ago today he put 3 more of the same stents in that I had reacted to. I couldn’t say anything about it because I was under anesthesia. When they all closed up in November he wondered why it kept happening.

There is actually a warning about this on the label. He should have known the possible side effects.

**Please don’t get the idea that you shouldn’t do stents because of what happened to me. Millions of people have stents placed in there hearts, and most don’t have problems. So I am not saying this to worry people. They do save lives. A reaction like this is usually unlikely to happen. There are alternatives to stents if you don’t have serious blockages.

What bothers me is the “one size fits all approach” that I have experienced, and how hard it is in the system to advocate for yourself. They say “we had to put stents in and here are the five medications you need to take.” My body is very sensitive to pharmaceuticals, and doesn’t do well with them. I had allergic reactions to 3 of the 5 medications they gave me and the medication on the stents. Before the 1st heart attack I had taken minimal pharmaceuticals.

Don’t be afraid to advocate for yourself of have someone else do it if you can. I advocate for less invasive options first when at all possible.

I put a link to an article about the body rejecting stents and a link to the warnings about the stents I had.

References:

Ignorance based cardiology :How often a coronary artery reject a stent ?

http://circ.ahajournals.org/content/109/6/701.full?maxtoshow=&HITS=10&hits=10&RESULTFORMAT=&fulltext=stent%20%2527allergy%2522%20&searchid=1&FIRSTINDEX=0&resourcetype=HWCIT

I had Boston Scientific Stents. Here are the warnings about them. http://www.bostonscientific.com/en-US/products/stents–coronary/promus-premier-stent-system/promus-premier-indications.html