I Was Afraid to Look Back!


I sat in the audience near the back of the room, transfixed, as the man in front of the room talked about the powerful art on easels in front of him.  What he was saying shocked me and I could hardly take it in.  He talked about how each image pulled together symbolism from all different cultures around the world into a cohesive whole.

It wasn’t until he said ” and therefore, I am extremely privileged to be here to be more or less the official midwife to announce to the world that this is not just an artist- Katelyn is an initiate of consciousness”, that I went into complete shock and shut down, as the entire room turned toward where I was sitting, stood and began to clap.

The world at that moment was surreal.

I was rushed to the front of the room where I stood paralyzed as people asked me how I did this, what was my process, what did I do to prepare.  I couldn’t speak.

I didn’t do anything special, I just listened to the promptings of my soul and painted pictures of what I was shown.  Images that came so fast and furious for two months that I couldn’t capture them all. I listened and I painted. I painted 44 images in all.

I met Ron Mangravite in 1996, at a spiritual salon that my friend Dr. Jan Adams held in her home once a month.  I happened to bring my paintings with me to the salon and as I sat next to Ron, showing him the images he started saying things about them and their connections to different cultures and mythology and symbolism.  I looked at him and told him I didn’t know what he was talking about.  He told me he thought I had years of study in mythology and ancient symbolism and was surprised when I said no.

After a visit to a friend she decided to help me make the images into a meditation deck and “Awaken the Goddess Meditation Deck” was born.  Ron had told me that if we ever had an art show with my art he wanted to be there to talk about the images.  I had no idea what he would say about my paintings but we invited him to speak at the launch party for the deck.  There were about 100 people in the room.  Everything change for me that night.  Someone spoke the truth about who I was and it scared me to death!

In attempting to find her identity, which is the Goddess, and find ways she could manifest, she apparently went down deep enough to get totally past Katelyn, to get totally past everything but her femininity, because these images are the Goddess.  Katelyn dug down deep enough to get past anything that is the person and found real legitimate expressions that came from such a mixed bag of a culture that it would be very difficult for her to have truly cheated.  She does not know that some of these symbols are Babylonian, Sumerian, Chinese, and Welsh.  She cold not possibly known without at least 10 or 15 years of study.  She could not have made this mixed bag up by faking it.  It has to come from someplace very real. Ron Mangravite


Ron had a mystery school where he taught about occult mysteries and many of his students were in the room.  Some of them were friends of mine.  Other people in the room were friends, family and my two children.  The experience freaked me out.

It didn’t stop me from painting at first.  I painted my impressions of the balance between the masculine and feminine that came through my soul.  There were more then 66 of them.  I met with Ron the next time he was in town and we looked at my art and once again he told me all of the symbolism that he was seeing in my new paintings.  I really couldn’t get my mind around it.  During that meeting I asked him if I could join his mystery school and he told me that I knew more than he did and I wouldn’t benefit from his courses.  Once again I was shocked. I couldn’t comprehend what he was saying to me because it didn’t make sense.  I was just painting what came through me.

Ron told me that he wanted to try and create a workshop that we both would facilitate.  He told me “let us plan on meeting the next time I am north under any circumstances.” He expected that to be around October 1998.  On the 1st of October I was in my studio when suddenly I was downloaded information about the ancient blood mysteries.  I didn’t even know what that meant but I wrote down what I heard.  Ron died that day while teaching his class.  I saw one of his students soon after that and I asked her what she knew about the blood mysteries and I told her the information I had gotten.  She looked at me shocked and said “That is what Ron was teaching the day he died.”

Ron had indeed connected with me in October under any circumstances…

To Be Continued…

Part 2 Why did this scare me so much?


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