AND THE GODDESS AWAKENED IN ME LIKE THUNDER !! In 1996 I was part of a year long Peruvian Shamanic Medicine Wheel training. Were early in the process I started to have a
soar sore throat. Soar is probably the more appropriate word because when all was said and done it had caused me to soar into new realms.
“In one of the directions on the medicine wheel we were required to explore our fears. This process manifested in me on a physical level with a severe sore throat and anxiety attacks that came from a feeling my throat was closing off. The sore throat went on for months and at one point I was afraid I might have throat cancer, but I was afraid to go to the doctor and find out. My vivid imagination didn’t serve me in this situation because I tended to hitch my wagon to a negative story. This was before I knew about the law of attraction. Many times I would feel as though my throat were closing off and as I struggled to breathe I would go into an anxiety attack which someone would have to talk me out of.
Over the six months I had the symptoms I became aware of a deep fear of having something wrong and that I might die. The fear made sense given what I had experienced in the past but I didn’t want it to be what drove my life, so I decided to do an in-depth exploration to uncover and release it for good. I also knew that if I could get to the root and shift the issue, I would get better physically.
The throat chakra, which is the energy center at the throat, is connected with communication and it is very common for woman to have blocks in this area. The reason for this is deep and ancient, comes from past lives of oppression and death for speaking out as a woman. Even in current times it hasn’t been that long since woman were given the right to vote and we are just beginning to take back our power. One of the important tasks we have as women is to birth our voice. This is exactly what I was doing and the birthing process can be quite painful.
One day I was having so much trouble swallowing that the art therapist in me told me to draw what I was feeling. I was at my art studio and I said to myself “you are an art therapist, draw what you are feeling for God sakes!” What occurred was a very rapid emergence of a woman with rainbow hair, doves flying from her head, a star at her throat and a tree growing from her torso. (Image above)
Through my drawing of this image I was able to transform the scar, left from my intestinal surgery into a tree of life. My scar is really a symbol of life for me so the tree of life seemed perfect. I also gave wings to my voice by painting doves coming from my throat. It was an extremely empowering image for me.
As I looked at the image it occurred to me that this was the Goddess and She wanted to emerge and be heard. I also knew that it was only the first of many images to come. For the next two months images flowed through me in rapid succession. I found myself overwhelmed by images of the Goddess which arrived fully pictured and intensely energized. They came when I was driving, working, sleeping and eating, so many images that I wasn’t able to capture them all in paint. As I type these words I feel a tickling sensation in my throat and I have to cough. I know that writing this book is as important as creating the Goddess images. I have resisted writing this book because I felt that it was too complicated to capture all of the things I had gone through and put them into some kind of order. I wasn’t sure I wanted to be so vulnerable by sharing my experiences and I also wondered if it really mattered. I was afraid of what people might think about all of these bizarre things that have happened to me and the weird things I have done to heal. Now I am finding the writing is just flowing through my fingertips, just as the images of the Goddess did as though I am only a scribe taking dictation. The book wants to be written and I am the only thing in the way. Now it is more important to get the stories out than to worry about what people will think of me. I feel like if one word, one sentence or a paragraph that I have written here has an impact on someone’s healing process I will have accomplished what I intended to do by writing this book and sharing my experiences.
The paintings of the Goddess made me realize that there was something much deeper and bigger than myself as a human, involved in the process. By the time I came to the end of the process of creating the images of the Goddess, which took two months, I had painted 44 Goddess Paintings, sometimes two or three in one day. The miraculous part of the process was that not only did my sore throat go away but I had a deeper understanding of my divine feminine nature. This series of paintings began a deep transformational journey for me that would goes on even today. ” Excerpt from Chapter 5 of Empowered Health and Wellness: Awakening Your Inner Physician
I HAD AWAKENED THE GODDESS IN ME AND SHE COULDN’T BE STOPPED People often ask me how I became a visionary artist. It was my destiny and there was no way it was going to be stopped. Goddess/God wanted me to be a voice for the divine feminine energy and I couldn’t get in the way as you can tell by how fast and furious these images came in. There was no way for me to question what was coming or let my ego get in the way.
Tomorrow in My Journey to becoming a Visionary Artist-Part Three I will explain more about this process.