If there was an app for that I could just push the off button and it would leave me alone. If it was on my smart phone I could just throw it in the trash bin and be done with it, but no, it sneaks up on me when I am not looking and messes with me!
I have been thinking a lot about the saboteur the last few days in relationship to losing weight so I will talk about it in conjunction with weight loss, though it can come to us in many forms and mess with what ever we are dreaming. Self sabotage is a dream killer!
I want to lose at least 15 pounds in the next 6 weeks and since making the commitment all I can think about is food!! I don’t want to think about exercising AND I don’t want to drink 8 or more glasses of water. Would tea be okay? That has got to be the saboteur who is hungry and water is not going to satisfy it’s cravings. My saboteur is a procrastinator when it is active and if left to it’s own devices, healthy eating, drinking more water and exercise can wait until tomorrow. Where is that frick’n delete button?
The saboteur is not a green-eyed monster or a villain in a black hat and coat, but it is the enemy and it is us! It is more like the Invisible Man and we don’t see it until it is too late. It is that conversation that spins around in the back of our mind that we are not even aware of, telling us that just one more bite of chocolate is not going to make that big of a difference, and if it does there is always tomorrow. It is that voice that says ” if you are going to have one, you might as well have a handful, you blew it already anyway!’
Self-sabotage is a combination of thoughts, feelings, and actions that create a roadblock to success by working against your own self-interests. It is when we consciously want something but subconsciously we make sure we don’t get it. It is like a game of mental tug-of-war playing with the unconscious part of us that was programmed a long time ago to think we didn’t deserve to have good things and if we did people would be jealous and think badly of us. I know, that doesn’t make any sense!
The conscious mind can carry out actions and work toward a goal, but it will not be long before the subconscious mind reveals the true feelings and beliefs and takes control over actions. Because it is unconscious that part often wins until we reach in their and give it a good shake, once and for all and tell it to just shut up!
The combination of women, weight loss and self sabotage has deeper implications. I believe that it goes beyond just personal sabotage to a collective saboteur in female clothing. It is kind of like a sheep in wolves clothing. I believe it goes deeper for women because so many of us use weight as a protection. When we weigh more there is a false sense that our weight will keep us safe because it creates a distance.
This saboteur duels with the collective beauty program. The unconscious voice tells us that if we are over weight we are not as beautiful, as sexy or as desirable, and if we are protecting ourselves from some unconscious fear that our boundaries will be violated, we believe what this voice says. We believe and have experienced that when we do weigh less, people penetrate our person space in uncomfortable ways. I have done a tango and a cha-cha-cha or two with these two characters.
So here is the shift! There is a purpose served by the saboteur in helping us to see all the angles and weigh all the options, BUT it can’t have the loudest voice! We don’t have to delete it completely but just dial it down a bit so it is not so blazing loud. The key to eliminating self-sabotage is making sure that your conscious and subconscious mind are in harmony. You may get away with lying to others but you can never get away with lying to yourself. You desire to have something has to be stronger than the negative voice. Believe in and have faith in yourself, that you can trust your true inner voice and that you will know how to live in a balanced way and eliminate self-sabotage from your life for good.